Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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