Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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