Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
