Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think your dad took our porno
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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