She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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