Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
