I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
