Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize