Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
