I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
