Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
