You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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