U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
