I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How does one acquire holy water?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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