he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
