So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
