I can tuck mytits in my pants
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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