mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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