He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have tasted many bathrooms
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
