you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
