I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
