so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what the fuck happened to the tacos
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
