awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize