kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
