Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
