just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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