dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize