I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
