please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
