After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Found the puke drawer
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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