nut hugger
I skipped work to stalk him.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
