that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize