He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
