I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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