Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
