I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
