I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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