your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
