North Korea, Best Korea!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
