Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

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(707): View more from California

He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".

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(916): View more from California

Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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(903): View more from Texas

best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there

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(409): View more from Texas

That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.

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(516): View more from New York

I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb

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