I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
