So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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