Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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