Welp...herpes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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