I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
