I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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