When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
