he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
