You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
