new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
