You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
