it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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