Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
