Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
