How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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