You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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