You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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