...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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