His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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