I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
